New Year, New Resolution

 New Year's Eve today. A time for reflection and resolutions. Most resolutions consist of a new diet or exercise program, self-improvement books, working towards a new car or home, usually things that are focused on ourselves. Not to say that trying to better ourselves is a bad thing, but maybe it would be more fulfilling if we try to help others instead of helping ourselves.

 This year I am proposing we resolve to make the lives of others better. Instead of focusing on our own outward appearance, how much we weigh, how much money we make, or the car we drive, let's try to focus on the needs of others. Who do we know who is struggling to pay bills, or feed their family?  How much time can we devote to helping others?

 So this year I am making a resolution to help others by making meals. Find out if there are families with a new baby or a single mom in the community who doesn't have the time or money to make a meal for their family that week. I am going to try once a month to share a meal with someone who needs help. A new year, and new kind of resolution.

Back to Reality

 The past 2 weeks have been great. I had time off from work to visit family in Minnesota and Andy's family in Ohio. It was so good to see family and friends and to spend time with loved ones over Christmas. We spent 4 days in Minnesota with my family, and Andy's parents, then traveled to Ohio to visit Andy's parent's families. It was a very busy couple of weeks. Not a lot of time to ourselves, but it was good to see everyone there.

 Now it's back to reality. I went back to work today and I work doubles on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. So life is about to get busy once again. Andy does not go back to school until the 18th of January so in that time he will be looking for work and helping me with the household duties. :)

 I hope that the new year brings joy and peace to all, and that everyone had a Merry Christmas!

The Life of Christ

 I feel like around Christmas time we focus a lot on the birth of Christ as a means to an end. Which is the crucifixion and death of Christ for our salvation. I notice that we talk a lot about how the birth of Christ is important because He came to die for us. Now, I do believe that the death of Christ is a very important part of His birth, but we forget to focus on the life of Christ. We almost ignore the 33 years that Jesus spent on earth teaching His disciples how to live in His example when He was gone.

 This season is more than just a celebration of the birth of Christ. It is a celebration of the life that He lived  teaching us how to continue to live in love with each other, and yes, the death of Christ is important as well, but it is not the only reason to be thankful for Christ's birth. Christmas is about the birth of Christ, His life and teaching, and His victory over death for our salvation.  Let us not forget about the importance of the life of Christ that follows His birth. Let us celebrate this season with the birth and life of Christ in mind, because His life was just as important as His death.

Home for the Holidays

Yesterday afternoon Andy and I arrived in our hometown of Mankato, MN. It is so good to be home with family and friends. We got to se our neighbors and spend the evening with my family. We are looking forward to seeing everyone that we have been missing lately. It is good to be home for the holidays.

 This time is very important to the two of us. We are getting to spend time with each of our families, and hopefully all of our hometown friends. It has been difficult to get used to new surroundings and new friends without dearly missing everyone that we left here in MN. Thank God for this season of joy and fellowship with loved ones. For this time to remember His gift to us of Christ on earth, with the ones closest to us.

 I pray that everyone has a rich and blessed holiday. May we all enjoy the presence of the people around us and take time to pause and meditate on the importance of the season that is upon us. Merry Christmas!

the Holiday is Upon Us

 Christmas is just over a week away. I can't believe that another year has already come and gone. This time is so important to me because it is a time where I can reflect on the past year and focus on the new year that is fast approaching. I also get to take time to meditate on the gift of Christ coming to earth. This season is such a wonderful and joyous time, but we cannot forget why it is so important.

 I am trying to be more mindful about the reason behind this season. Though I still love the festivities and food and time with family and friends, I think the most important thing should be to remember Christ together, and to always be thankful for what we've been given.

 So the Holiday is upon us. Are we ready? Maybe. But ultimately as long as we are ready in our minds, that is the most important thing. If we are mentally prepared for this season of the Advent of Christ's birth and His time spent here on earth, everything else should fade into the background. Cheers to you this Holiday Season! Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas! May your time spent with loved ones be blessed and filled with joy. Peace & Love.

Sharing a Passion for Music

 My good friend Devon Russell spent the morning here with my husband and me. We shared a late breakfast, coffee, and music together. Devon is an extremely talented musician. She brought her guitar and she played and we sang Christmas songs together. It was so spiritually fulfilling and soothing to my soul to be able to share a passion that we both have for music. She has such a beautiful spirit and it fills my heart with joy to be around her.

 I want to be more intentional about music. I have a keyboard that I need to take out again. I want to order sheet music and re-learn to play the piano. I want to learn how to play guitar. Music is something that has always brought me so much joy and fulfillment and I feel empty when I go too long with out it. I truly experience God through music and sharing my passion with others who love music.

 So this is a special thank you to Devon for always being willing to share her passion for music with me.  It is heart-warming, soul quenching, and truly fulfilling to have someone like you in my life.

Control

 No matter how hard we try, we are never completely in control. We may feel like it sometimes, but life usually has a way of doing it's own thing. We're really just along for the ride. We are here to experience the twists and turns of this roller-coaster called life. Thank God we have family and friends to share the ride with us. And thank God that He is in control!

 I have a busy week this week. It was supposed to start this afternoon with work at 3:00pm.. but what do ya know, I got sick last night and am still not better. Thanks life! Hopefully I'll be able to continue with my week as it was originally planned tomorrow, but only God knows if that'll happen.

 Now, this isn't to say that we have no control what-so-ever with what happens in our lives, after all God gave us free will to make our own decisions, but ultimately, we don't know the future, so we have to learn to roll with the punches and make decisions as they present themselves.

 So relax, and just live life the way it comes! Don't stress about things that we can't control, just be responsible with the decisions we make about the things we can control.

Nothing to Blog About

 So it's been a few days since I've blogged. I just haven't really had anything interesting to write about. So this is just me letting you know that I'd fallen off the blogging wagon. But to get back to it, I'm just going to talk a bit about the last few days.

 I've picked back up a bit on painting. I'm trying to make paintings as gifts for people for Christmas this year. It's been nice to get back to doing the things I used to do a lot more often. I'm working on a few different paintings at the moment. Hopefully I'll be able to finish them in the next couple of weeks.

 Andy and I are going home to MN for a couple days and then we are traveling to OH to visit Andy's family. Christmas should be interesting this year, and for the next few years anyway. Andy's parents have decided to move to Alaska so now with my family in MN, and his in Alaska, it is going to be more difficult to figure out spending time with everyone. But we'll make it work.

 So yeah, now that I'm done blogging about nothing, hopefully you'll hear from me again soon when I have something more interesting to say.

Life is What You Make of it

  I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about life. Mainly, where is my life going? What is my life going to amount to? Once you fall into a routine it can get boring and seem mundane, so how do we keep the excitement? 

 As I was working this evening I thought to myself, "Well, this is my life right now, and I'm only going to get out of it what I want to put into it." So I'm trying to be more mindful of the way I think about things. Every day that I go to work, I am going to have fun with it, and not dread it. Every time laundry day comes around, I am going to enjoy it, and same goes for the dishes, and grocery shopping. Because what it comes down to is this; living in the moment, and appreciating the time we spend doing things can make life so much more enjoyable. If we spend all our time dreading every little thing we don't really feel like doing, we lose so much precious time in negative thought, when we could spend that time being happy that we are physically capable of working, and doing laundry, and dishes. So I'm going to do my best from now on to have a positive attitude about everything that I do, because a joyful heart is good medicine! 

Fitting In

 I have just finished my first week serving on my own at Brio Tuscan Grille. It has been fun, but challenging. I worked a double yesterday, Friday, which ended up being a total of 11 hours. I made a good amount of money, but my body hates me right now. The money is nice, and now that I'm getting used to the job itself, the only thing I'm really worried about still is fitting in.

 This usually isn't very hard for me. I tend to just get along with most people I meet. It helps that most of the people I work with are very nice and willing to help out and answer questions. I've made a few friends, I think, but I still hope that I can get adjusted to the people there and continue to get along.

 Part of it is that I have a personality with a need to please people. I want people to be happy, and I want people to like me. So I think I put a lot of pressure on myself to make sure that people are going to like me, when really all I have to do is be myself and be nice to people, which usually does the trick.

 I just want to continue to make friends, get along with other employees, and find a place at Brio where I fit in.

Politics: Why do they Effect Christianity?

 Okay, a recent post of my husband's on Facebook has gotten quite the reaction from a few people. He simply stated that he doesn't understand how some people can watch Glen Beck. A few people reacted because they "love" Glen Beck. For those of you who don't know, Glen is a strong republican who has a show on Fox news where he spends a lot of time talking about how America is quickly approaching it's downfall, like the Roman Empire, because we're losing our Capitalist society. Now, I am not going to get into my thoughts on Glen Beck because frankly, I don't want to deal with the drama that comes a long with politics. I think there are valid points on both the Democratic, and the Republican side. My point in this is to express my disappointment that we as Christians feel the need to get involved to the extent of hurting our brothers and sisters, just because they may not view polotics the same way we do.

 Jesus pushed so strongly against the idea of polotics and the government on His time here on earth. He wanted nothing to do with them, because the government is always going to be corrupt, and it is of this world. Christ calls us to be detached from the things of this world, so then why are we all so wrapped up in them? This is not to say that we need to completely remove ourselves from all political involvement, just that it should not be our main focus as Christians. It's not about who's a Republican, and who's a Democrat. It's about who is a follower of Christ, and I do not think one's political views should weigh so heavily on their Christianity. Jesus did not call Himself a Republican, so why do some churches claim that the Christian political stance should be that of the Republican party? Jesus did not call Himself Democrat either, so the same goes for the Democratic Christians.

 This is just something that was laid heavy on my heart this morning. I felt the need to express my concern that we Christians are letting the dirt and mess of politics seep into the purity of our relationship with Christ and His children, our brothers and sisters. Let us be mindful and careful of the things we say to one another in the name of Republican or Democrat, and focus more on the words that come out of our mouths as members of the Christian Party.

Love the World

 The mission and being of God calls us to love the world, and everything in it. This can be interpreted in SO many different ways. Here is how I look at it. First, we must love ourselves and others. Second, we must love, and take care of the earth itself.

 Loving ourselves is so much harder than it sounds. Especially when society paints a picture of what the perfect human being should look like, and very few of us fit the mold. But we need to keep in mind that we are the life form that God chose to appear as when He came to earth. He chose to clothe Himself in human flesh and live among us as one of us. We are still the living, breathing beings that Christ chooses to show His love through. That should be enough to help us love ourselves, and in turn, love others, because they also, are living alters, a dwelling place for the Spirit.

 We are also called to love the earth. And yes, this is a "Go Green" speech, but I believe it is a very honorable concept, and should not be taken lightly. If we are to honor God in His request for us to love the world, then we need to take care of the earth. More recycling, re-usable shopping bags, "paper or plastic?" ALWAYS paper! Unless of course the place you are shopping will recycle your plastic bags if you take them back. Using less water in the shower, brushing your teeth, doing the dishes. Just being mindful of everything we do, and how it is effecting the earth that we live in.

 So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that we all need to do our best to love this world in every way. Love ourselves, love other people, and love the earth, because that is who we are called to be as the living examples of Christ.

Advent Season: A Lesson in Patience

 The season of Advent is upon us. A time where we are to remember and reflect on the time of waiting for the Messiah. The difference between now and before Jesus actually came to earth is that we know the story, we know that he comes as a baby in a manger, but the people of Israel had no idea. They were waiting for the unknown Messiah, not knowing how, when or even if He would show up. They were expecting a king that would come in glory and save them from their oppression from the Romans. But how often does God do what we expect? They were so busy worrying and expecting something spectacular, that most of them missed it.

 We need to participate in Advent to remind us to slow down in this, the busiest time of the year. We need to remember that the importance of this time is not to count down to Christmas, but to appreciate the chance to anticipate the coming of Christ. Because we know that He came as a baby. We know that He did come, and that He died for our sakes, and that through Him, we are saved. This is a time to learn a lesson in patience, and appreciate the wait. Because it is in waiting, that we can encounter God, and truly appreciate the meaning of Christmas when it comes.

 Let us take the next few weeks and try not to fill every day so full of parties, shopping and planning, that we forget to remember. Let us make time each day to stop, and reflect on the feeling of anticipation for the coming of our Lord. Let us take a lesson in patience this Advent Season.

Home Away from Home

 This year for Thanksgiving, Andy and I made the decision to stay here in Kansas City, instead of traveling back home to MN to be with family. This was a tough decision, and a lot of it had to do with thinking I had to work over the holiday, but it turned out I didn't have to work at all.

 Even though it would have been nice to see our families, I really enjoyed staying here. Andy's brother Matt came down to stay with us, and our good friend Emily invited us to share Thanksgiving with her family. Andy, Matt and I all went over to join the Nichols family for a beautiful and delicious dinner. We had a wonderful time and it truly felt like a home away from home. It felt like we were part of their family. They were so welcoming it was so easy to fit right in. Thank God for community and fellowship!

 So I want to send out a thank you to Emily and her lovely family for so warmly welcoming us into their home to share Thanksgiving with them. I also want to say I love you to our families back home who were so understanding about us not being there with them this year. See you at Christmas time!

Practicing Humility

 I have a lot of insecurities. When I say a lot I mean A LOT. It's come to my attention that because of my insecurities, I have become very critical of others. I find myself thinking things about the people that I see, about their hair, or their weight, or their clothing. Sometimes they're good things, like "oh she's so skinny" or "I wish I had hair like hers" or "that outfit is so cute". But a lot of the time it's things like "Wow, did you brush your hair this morning?" or "How could you leave your house wearing that?" or "Put that cheeseburger down honey, you don't need the calories." It is so mean and judgmental. And I would never say any of that to anyone's face, but then, why do I think it?

 I feel terrible thinking these things because I would hate it if I knew that people were thinking this about me. But it has almost become a habit to instantly compare myself to every female in the room and either think negative things about them, or think negative things about myself because compared to them, I feel so insignificant.

 I think that most, if not all, women struggle with this constant battle with comparing ourselves to others. It's almost like it's built into our DNA as women to feel the need to mentally rank ourselves when surrounded by other women. Not only do we compare ourselves to other women in our minds, society compares us in the media and by putting so much emphases on looking pretty and being skinny, that I think we have truly forgotten the beauty that we have as women.

 I am trying to get better about not being critical of others. I am also trying to be a little easier on myself and not be so judgmental. I need to start practicing humility. Because it's not all about me. Life's not about how I look. So I pray that God will help me to see everyone as beautiful creations, including myself. I pray that I can be loving towards others and be humble. To be less pre-occupied with my weight or hair color, or how pale my skin has gotten since the summer ended, and to be more aware of the beauty that every woman has in Christ. Here's to letting go of insecurity and embracing the love that God has for all of His beautiful children.

Presence vs. Presents: Battling Consumerism

 I have been thinking, praying and reflecting a lot about what it means to be Christians in a consumeristic society. Why do we sink so much time and money into making sure we get the best deals and try to pack as much as we can into our shopping carts? Yes, we say we are just buying gifts for the people we love, but who says we have to spend a bunch of money every year when Black Friday rolls around? What's wrong with trying to give hand-made gifts, or just simply giving our time and our 'presence' to our loved ones, instead of focusing so much on the 'presents'?

 Now, I know what you're probably thinking. "But, that takes away from the tradition of Christmas." and "People are expecting me to get them presents." and "But I'm not crafty, artsy or talented enough to make presents for anyone." Here is my response to that. Stop making excuses. We all know it's easier to go out and buy something than it is to put the time and effort into making a gift for someone. But I guarantee you that people would appreciate a hand-made gift more than something really expensive. In fact, people are more inclined to feel guilty about receiving an expensive gift than they are to be happy about getting it. People appreciate the thought, time, and effort that goes into making a gift, more than looking at a list and buying whatever is on it. I just think that we've gotten too far away from what Christmas is supposed to be about.

 Every year we all hear the same thing in every Christmas Eve service, "Remember what Christmas is really about. It's not about presents, or money, it's about the ultimate gift of Christ coming to earth to save us from our sin." That's all well and good, but I think we're still missing the point. Maybe it's going to take more than just remembering that it's not about the presents under the tree, maybe we should actually forget about the presents completely. Because let's be honest, are we really focused on Christ's unfailing and undying love for us while we tear away wrapping paper and count how many presents under the tree have our names on them? Probably not. I think the only way to really get away from the consumeristic mindset during the Christmas season is to forget about presents and really focus on what's important. Sharing time with the ones we love and remembering together what Christ did for us when He came to earth.

 So here's my proposition; I am boycotting Black Friday and all holiday shopping sales and early bird specials. I am going to make presents for my loved ones and hopefully that won't be a disappointment for them. I am not going to ask for anything for Christmas this year, because honestly, I don't need or want anything other than time with my family, and the ones I love. I will focus on giving 'presence', not 'presents'. I encourage anyone who agrees with me to do the same.

 Andy and I have made the decision together to put any money that we would have spent on gifts for people towards digging wells in Africa. Read more about the reasoning behind our decision here. Advent Conspiracy

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

 So many things in life effect our feelings. Some of them are big, life-changing events, some are petty and meaningless. Lately I've been noticing the smallest things are getting me down. It is so ridiculous, but in the moment it feels like such a big deal, and looking back every time, it's almost laughable how insignificant it was.

 I am trying to make a lot of changes in my life. Now I am adding one more thing to the list. "Don't sweat the small stuff." This has become one of my favorite sayings. It reminds us that we have the freedom of shrugging stuff off, letting go of things that may temporarily disappoint, but won't permanently damage. Leave it behind.

 We give the bigger stuff to God, and share our big life struggles with others for help, prayer and support.  As for the little things that cause unnecessary anxiety, I say, "So long!"

Blessed Beyond Necessity

 This morning I was sitting in church thinking about how hungry I was because I hadn't eaten breakfast. I was thinking about how uncomfortable I was and hoping that my stomach wouldn't growl and disturb the people next to me. I continued to grumble to myself and could not stop thinking about getting something to eat as SOON as the service was over.

 As I was feeling sorry for myself, a team of 5 people went up to the front and we were introduced as the ones who had gone from our church to Pokot, Africa to help dig wells for the community there. They talked about how the people of Pokot came from a history of going to raid and kill in neighboring villages because they had no water, and the only way they could get it, was to take it from their neighbors. A man who is from Kenya and the pastor of a church there, Pastor Eddie, began to talk about the living conditions in Pokot. How they would go sometimes 3-4 days with out eating because the land they lived in, Pokot, was so dry from no water, that there was no vegetation, there were no animals, no food.

 I instantly felt guilty. I wanted to cry. Here I am sitting in a heated church with padded pues complaining to myself because I missed one meal. Thinking about how hungry I was after going 10 hours with out eating when so many go for days not knowing when or if they will eat again. I live in a country where both obesity and eating disorders exist together. Where we have more food than anyone  could ever need for one meal, and people still obsess about their weight. I felt sick.

 So what can I do? Well, I'm starting with taking nothing for granted. I am blessed beyond necessity and I need to remind myself every day that I can eat whenever I'm hungry, and have water available any time I walk into the kitchen. I am done obsessing about my weight and am going to be thankful that I have more to me than just skin and bones. This Thanksgiving week I will be truly thankful for everything I have that I've been taking for granted. I will appreciate the feeling of hunger and let it be a reminder of how good I have it, and how much worse it could be. Thank you God for giving me the life I have, a husband who loves me, a job, food, clothing, a place to live, and so much more.

 Let's be thankful this week, and every week, for having the things we need, and then some.

The Importance of Fellowship

 Since the move to KC from MN, my husband and I have decided to be intentional about sharing life with others. We spend a lot of time with our friend Emily in particular, who has become like a sister to us. She is a college student who loves to come over and eat and talk and watch TV with us. To just be present. She has helped us to feel more connected and comfortable in our new home. She is just one example of the many people who have welcomed us into a community of friends here in Kansas City. Fellowship with others is important to fulfill the need we have as humans to connect with each other.  This is how we connect with God, through fellowship with others.

 We see this example in Christ coming to earth. He came to connect with us. To be with us. To teach us how to interact with others and be a constant reminder to each other of His love for us. We are called to treat people lovingly, the way Christ did in His time here on earth. Part of treating people with love is to simply share life with them. To get together and share a meal and conversation. To be there when life gets hard and to journey with those we love through the ups and downs that life can throw at us. To be a support system. To love each other.

 Spending time in fellowship with others is something that is very important to me. I hope that I can offer a warm home for anyone to feel loved and welcomed into fellowship and community. Just to share a meal or talk or watch a football game on a Sunday afternoon. I want people to feel like part of a family when they are here. I want everyone to know and feel the importance of fellowship in our lives. I hope  I can be part of that feeling of community.

Bitterness

 Bitterness: when we harbor ill feelings towards another for something they did to us, or something they have that we wish we did. So basically it's holding a grudge or being envious of another which causes us to treat them poorly.

 Bitterness goes against everything we are called to be as followers of Christ. Christ calls us to forgive others and to love them unconditionally. It breaks my heart to see other Christians being bitter and treating their friends in a way that is hurtful.

 I just want to encourage everyone to forgive and forget, and to let go of any grudges, to stop being bitter towards your brothers and sisters in Christ just because they may have something that you do not. Treat everyone with love and respect. Do not let your personal issues get in the way of your relationships with those you love, and who love you. Love one another, as Christ loved us.

Keeping up

So I had my first shift following a server tonight at Brio. It was crazy. It wasn't as crazy as the food running shift that I did on Friday, but it was still a lot to take in. I feel like there's a lot that I don't know yet, and I'm starting to feel a little over whelmed. I know that most of it is just going to take time to get used to the way things work.

 I am just going through a time of having to keep up with everything that's going on at work right now. I don't like the feeling of thinking that I might screw something up or drop a huge tray of heavy food. I'll just be glad when training is over and I've had some time to get used to the job and get ahead of the game instead of always feeling like I'm trying to keep up.

 For now I just need to be patient and get through this time of transition into this new job. I hope I can catch on quickly and be less in the way and more helpful.

Social Network vs. Reality

 Isn't is amazing the things we are able to do these days? With the use of technology we can keep in touch with people we haven't talked to in years, meet new people virtually with out ever meeting them in person, chat with people both through text and face-to-face programs such as iChat and Skype. It is incredibly practical, efficient, and convenient, and yet, somehow extremely lacking.

 We now have a choice to make between virtual reality, and actual reality. Knowing people because we spend time with them face to face, in their actual presence, or spending time with them in the virtual sense through Facebook or Twitter, iChat or Skype. There is just something about being in another person's physical presence that cannot be replaced by a computer screen.

 Now, this isn't to say that social networking is all bad, there are a lot of good things about it. Besides the huge time suck that it can be, it is a great thing to be able to connect with people from all over the world with out ever having to leave our couches. I often find it difficult to pry myself away from my Facebook page. It's fun to catch up with people and feel like a part of their lives even from far away.

 But let's not forget that what is important for us as human beings is to interact with others on a daily basis. To have others in our physical presence to interact with, converse with, and be with people. To share our lives with them as we live each day. This is important not only for our own personal growth, but also to bring a sense community into the lives of those around us. Let's not forget that what fulfills our deepest need here on earth is to discover Christ's love for us through interaction with others.

 With that being said, I urge all of us to spend time with other people as much as we spend time in front of our computer screens. Let's try to interact with people by physically being in their presence at least the same amount of time, if not more, than we spend in the virtual Social Network. Let's make our reality be the time that is spent surrounded by people who love us as we try to spend less time glued to our computers.

A Beautiful Temple

 So I haven't been able to blog this weekend. Sorry. I was on the Jacobs Well Women's Retreat. It was a great time spent with good friends and making new ones. There is something beautiful about coming together to celebrate life and experience each other's presence.

 This weekend we focused on the body being an Alter, a Temple for Christ to come and dwell in. We as Christ's dwelling need to find the beauty in our flesh. To take the idea of Christ choosing to come into the world in human flesh is sacred. Therefore, we are sacred. We need to love our bodies and appreciate the fact that Christ loved us enough to put on flesh Himself and come to earth as one of us.

 It really makes me think about how I view my body. How I need to be sure that I am not obsessed with my appearance, but that I am looking at the beautiful creation, the Altar, that Christ comes and lives in every day. I need to take care of my body and treat it with respect and love.

 We as women are scrutinized so brutally. "She's too fat" "Her hair is frizzy" "She's too skinny" "Her nose is too big". These may not be things that we actually hear others saying to us audibly, but it is what we as women are told through the media every time we turn on our TV or look through a magazine. My Sisters; be confident in your beauty not because on the outside you may look like the super models in magazines or like the female celebrities on TV, but because you are loved by Christ and He chose you to be his dwelling. He wants to live in you and that is worth more than what having outward beauty can offer.

 So I return from this weekend refreshed. Ready to take on life with a new view of myself. Ready to take on the responsibility of taking care of my body as an Alter for Christ to dwell in every day. A beautiful Temple.

Learn to be Lonely

 So my husband Andy is gone this weekend. I have always had a hard time being alone. I always get so stressed and nervous when I know that I have to do something by myself or that I am going to be alone for any certain amount of time. I think part of it is I don't really know what to do with myself with out other people around. Other people keep me motivated and with out that motivation from other people I feel useless. But I need to learn to be alone, and not be lonely.

 So for this weekend with Andy gone I'm going to keep Christ in mind to keep me motivated, and surround myself with some strong women on the Jacobs Well Women's Retreat. So forget stress this weekend because it's time for relaxation, rest, yoga, play and prayer with some lovely ladies. After work tonight of course!

Conflict

For those of you who know me you know that I HATE conflict. I almost always go out of my way to avoid it. But I have been learning through discussion and experience that conflict can be a good thing.

 I have been able to come to terms with the fact that conflict does not always have to be bad. That sometimes it is not only healthy, but necessary in order to resolve differences. It is also an inevitable part of every relationship, and knowing how to deal with conflict in a healthy way is crucial to maintaining an honest and open relationship.

 Learning how to have healthy conflict is still something I need to work on. Because my tendency is to avoid conflict at all costs until everything is so pent up I explode and let it all come out at once, I need to be more intentional about addressing issues as they present themselves. I need to be loving and considerate in situations of conflict, and remember that I am ultimately working towards peace and healthy relationships.

 I pray that God gives me the wisdom and ability to deal with conflict as is presents itself with grace and love. To work towards peace and good relationships with those I interact with. To remember to love others even through conflict.   

Living out our Facebook Faith

 There is a recent trend on Facebook, where people are posting that someone challenged Christians that if they really believed in Jesus they would post it as their status. Along with a quote from the bible that says that if we deny Jesus, he will deny us in front of the Father.  This poses the idea that if we do not post it as our status, that we are not Christians; that this status has an influence on our salvation.

 Now this seems to me like a threat from an ignorant individual who doesn't understand what it means to be a Christian. And also as a way of guilting Christians into proving that we're not weak. But our strength as Christians is not shown only through our Facebook statuses.

  We do not need to prove anything to an anonymous voice on Facebook. We are called to more than that, to live and breath Christ's love to others every day. People should know by the way we interact with others on a day-to-day basis, not just because we post it on Facebook.

 So here's my challenge to myself, and to you; by all means, post it on Facebook that you believe in Jesus Christ. But then we must remember to take it a step further and live it out every day by loving others the way Christ did. Let them know that we are Christians by our love.

Motivated

 Okay, new job = less time to do everything that I've been able to do over the past couple of months, like keep up with dishes and laundry, make dinner every night, keep the floors clean.... the list goes on. But with less time comes great need for motivation. With less time to do it, it becomes so easy to say "I'll do it tomorrow" or "I'm too tired to do it right now." But this is the time when I need to be saying "If I don't do it now, then it won't get done and it will keep haunting me." and "The dishes and laundry are just going to keep piling up unless I just do it now."

 What it boils down to is this: How do I want to feel on a daily basis? Constantly stressed and trying to play catch-up? Or relaxed and regimented, set in a rhythm where I can keep up with out feeling overwhelmed? So there are two possible paths. Stress? Or Serenity? I choose serenity. God give me the devotion to stay motivated even when the things that need to be done are the last things I feel like doing.

 So I'm going for a run, and when I get back I'm going to do the dishes and sort the laundry before my shift starts at 4:00pm. Even though I really don't feel like it.

New Chapter

 I start my new job at Brio Tuscan Grille this afternoon. I am nervous, excited, thankful, anxious, all of the above, even though it's not a real shift, just paper work today. I'll get over the nerves soon enough. The excitement of starting a new job and FINALLY having something to do during the day is so over-powering! I pray that I may continue to find the excitement in this job every day I go to work.

 So today begins a new chapter in life, and I can't wait!

Numbness

 Last weekend was halloween. And as part of my costume I made the poor decision to wear 3 inch black heels. I spent roughly 6 hours that night standing and walking around in these heels, and needless to say, it was painful. The next morning I woke up and my toes were completely numb. I raised the concern to my friend Rachel who is a nurse, and she said that I probably had some nerve damage in my toes from wearing those shoes all night. This freaked me out a little bit. She said that I should eventually re-gain the feeling in my toes and that the tingling should go away. Well, it's been a week now and it's still there.

 This morning at Jacobs Well I listened to a sermon about Numbness. How we so often are numb to what is going on around us and even right in front of us. How we are seemingly unaware of the hurt and pain that people are going through. That we tend to impose our feelings on others and do not necessarily pay attention to the actual needs of others, or what they may have to offer us.

 The example given was a passage from James. It talked about how we immediately accept and welcome those who are nicely dressed, clean, maybe wealthy, and yet are so quick to dismiss and ignore the poor, and dirty. But is it not the poor who have faith and the gifts of the kingdom to offer? We are so quick to assume that the poor have nothing of value, simply because they may not have money, but maybe they have wisdom, life experience, faith, compassion, all of these things that Christ showed and calls us to share with others. They have love. We need to show love towards those who we have maybe subconsciously shut out, tuned out, and pushed out of our lives.

 With this thought fresh in my mind, I have made it a new goal of mine to let God un-numb my soul to those people who may not have money, a place to live, or food to eat. To let the tingling in my toes be a constant physical reminder to look at EVERYONE through the loving eyes of Christ, with out prejudice, and with out pre-conceived notions about who they are, where they came from, and why they're in the situation they're in.  And hopefully, as the numbness in my toes begins to fade, the numbness in my soul will follow suit.

Sigh of Relief

 As all of you well know, the past couple of months I have spent looking for a job. Well, yesterday that search ended when I was offered a job as a full-time server at Brio Tuscan Grill on the Country Club Plaza. I can hardly put into words how excited and thankful I am to be starting this new job. It is more than I could have asked for. I will be serving right away, without having to start out as a host first and work my way up. The restaurant is only about 5 blocks from our apartment, so it will take me about 7 or 8 minutes to walk to work each day. I will be working full-time mostly day shifts so I will still get to spend time with my husband in the evenings, but I will still be able to work evening weekend shifts (where all the good tips are). I will also be given the time off for Christmas that I need to travel to MN and to OH to see family. Truly an answer to prayer, a sigh of relief.

 It has been a difficult couple of months on the hunt for a job. Between the decision of whether or not to move back to Minnesota, turning down interviews because of uncertainty in if we would be around for much longer, and losing momentum after making the decision to stay here in Kansas City, it has been a rollercoaster of events and emotions. But through it all there have been two constants that I knew I could rely on. My husband's love and support, his encouragement to keep up with applications and to stay motivated have played a huge role over the past couple months and for that I thank him. Thank you Andy! I love you! :) Most of all I need to thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Knowing that I can always turn to him in prayer and to seek comfort when I feel like nothing is working out, and when I am completely overcome by the feeling of uselessness. Thank you God for being my sense of peace and security during this time of uncertainty.

 So I start tomorrow afternoon. I will go through a few training sessions and then be on my own taking on the hustle and bustle of the #1 rated happy hour spot on the Plaza by multiple KC food critiques. So come on down I'll be happy to serve you! :)

Getting to Know Myself

 Over the past couple of months, I have gotten the chance to learn a lot about myself. The move from Eden Prairie, MN to Kansas City, MO has been very transitional for both my husband Andy and I. While it has been very good for the two of us to get to know each other, it's been hard so far to get to know other people. I know it will take time, and in this time I have been able to get to know me a little better.

 In the process of quitting my old job, where I had a place full of people that I knew and was comfortable with, and trying to find a new job, which sounds easier than it is, I spend a good amount of time alone. This is not all bad. Andy is around a lot considering he is a grad student, so we get to spend time together as a couple. But as for the rest of the time, not having a job yet leaves me at home with not much else to do but apply for jobs of course, clean the apartment, and keep up with the dishes that used to pile up in the sink.

 With all of this free time on my plate, I have had the chance to discover something about myself that I never really knew. I love to cook. Along with my on-again off-again relationship with drawing and painting, I now have a new love. There's just something about being able to express myself in the art of making food for the people I love that is very fulfilling.

 So I guess my point is this, until I can fill my time with work that I actually get paid for, I am choosing to look at this potentially depressing situation not as an endless streak of bordum and loneliness, but as the chance to spend some quality time getting to know myself, and doing what I love. Real life will come again soon enough, but for now, I'm enjoying the moment and trying not to let the feeling of uselessness get me down.

Finding Peace in Uncertainty

  I think a lot of times we are under the impression that in order to be at peace, everything in our life needs to be under control. We need to have the "right" job, the "right" friends, the "right" house, and the list goes on. But what would happen if we looked at things from a different perspective? What if we came to grips with the idea that the "ideal situation" is not always the answer to our problems? What if we could take a look at our lives in the midst of transitional times and say to ourselves, I am at peace because I know that joy does not come from material things, that true joy comes from knowing that Christ loves us just as we are: messy, sinful, and selfish to the core.

 If we can take a step back and try to find joy and peace in the uncertainty and in the tough decisions and mistakes and realize that this IS it. This IS life. This experience is what we are meant to go through and it doesn't matter where we live or what job we have or how much money we make. Ultimately, it's about the journey that we go through with others, and it's about loving them as Christ does. That's what we're called to do as Christians, regardless of social status or annual income.

 We don't always know what's coming next, but maybe that's okay. So here's to living life as it comes, in the moment, taking in each and every experience and appreciating it for what it is. Here's to finding peace in uncertainty. Cheers.

Starting Fresh

My husband Andy and I have recently moved to Kansas City, MO from Eden Prairie, MN. This has been quite the transition for us, but in a good way. It has also come with it's fair share of difficulties. I have been looking for a job for the past couple of months and have been relatively unsuccessful, which has been stressful. Andy has been in graduate school since we moved here in the beginning of September. So far we have had to rely mostly on each other for support but we are slowly making friends. During this time of transition I hope to be able keep my head focused on doing what I need to do to find a job, keep this apartment clean, and keep my husband's stomach full. As well as keep my heart focused on Jesus Christ and find peace in the fact that I can trust in Him for stability when it feels like nothing else in life is certain.